Vaughn And Sydney Lament
by DarkAngelsSage
Summary: My second Alias fan fiction...let me know what you think of it!
1. Vaughn

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with Alias. Too bad that.  
  
Vaughn and Sydney Lament: by DarkAngelsSage  
  
  
  
Romance. I can't have that with her, no matter how much I want to. I don't even  
know if my feelings are reciprocated.  
  
I can't take her into my arms and kiss her until she begs for air.  
  
I can't curl up on the sofa and watch a sappy movie and eat popcorn with her.  
  
Hell, I can't even call her on the phone and have a conversation like a normal  
person. I'm not normal. Neither is she. That's part of the reason I think I fell so  
hard. She's so many things...  
  
Strong, yet so incredibly fragile. I feel like just holding her in my arms might make  
her break. So sure of herself, but always needing assuring...  
  
She's seen things many people don't see in their entire lifetime. She's had to  
deal with every bad thing that life has thrown her way, on her own.  
  
I wish she knew how much I want to be there for her, not just as a friend. I want  
to be able to hold her hand in public; kiss her just for the hell of it, and love her  
with my whole being.  
  
I'm part way there. I already love her. So much sometimes that I can't stand it.  
  
Every time I see her it's like ripping open a scab again, each time, never allowing  
it to fully heal.  
  
Each time she's more beautiful, if that's possible, and each time I distance myself  
even more. And I hate myself more and more each time for doing it.  
  
I can't stand myself, knowing I send her into danger and she comes back happy  
to see me. Me, of all people! The one who puts her in that danger in the first  
place!  
  
I can hardly live with myself knowing I'm the reason her face falls when I brief her  
on her next mission...instead of taking her to see a Kings game...  
  
In some ways it would be better if we had never met. At least then I wouldn't  
know what I was missing. Every time our eyes meet, the hole in my heart grows  
larger with the knowledge that it will never be.  
  
Even after SD-6 is taken down, and it will be taken down, be it a day, a year, or  
10 years, I can't be sure she'll still be there for me...or wanting me. If she has  
ever wanted me.  
  
I need her. Her warm body next to me when I wake up in the morning; her dirty  
clothes all over the place; her cosmetics in the bathroom...her mouth on mine...  
  
I don't know how much longer I can keep denying the feelings I have for her. I  
love Sydney...I just wish I knew if she felt the same.  
  
  
  
Another chapter? There's one on the way!  
  
-Angel 


	2. Sydney

Disclaimer: I don't own anything that has to do with Alias...  
  
Author Notes: Ask if you want to use my story/stories somewhere else! :) r/r  
  
Chapter 2 of Vaughn and Sydney Lament by DarkAngelsSage  
  
  
  
Romance. What's that? It seems I'll never experience that thing again.   
Something I want to share with him, but I know I can't. How do I know if he even  
feels the same about me?  
  
I don't care if he feels the same...yes I do. And I can't tell him how I feel.  
  
I can't call him up and talk like old friends. Hell, I can't even call him without  
"Joey's Pizza" and, "Sorry, wrong number" being the only things said.   
  
I can't take him into my arms and kiss him senseless.  
  
His voice is always perfect for the situation. Whether he needs to be  
understanding, concerned, or stern, he never disappoints. Maybe that's one of  
the reasons I fell so hard for him  
  
He's so strong. A pillar of strength whenever I need him. I wonder if he ever  
needs to be comforted?  
  
He's been through so many things in his life. He probably regrets becoming my  
handler...I'll put gray hairs on his head before his time.  
  
I wish I knew how he feels about me; if he loves me as much as I love him. I  
can't stand sitting on those stupid crates pretending to pay attention to the  
mission when all I want to do is hold him, running my hands through his hair.   
Even just walking with him in public, or the freedom to love him with my entire  
being...  
  
I wish he knew how much he hurts me when he turns away...  
  
Every single time I see him, it opens a fresh wound. And every single time I see  
him, he's even more gorgeous, if that's possible.  
  
I can feel him distancing himself, and I hate that I'm the reason for that. I hate  
that I can't look him full in the eye without the fear that I will fall in and never be  
able to swim my way back out...and not wanting to.  
  
I know he doesn't like sending me on new missions; he doesn't want to see me  
hurt. I try to hide the bruises and cuts when I come back for my de-briefing, but  
he always knows how to get the whole story out.   
  
I hate it that I love him so much I can't lie about what happens while I'm gone...  
  
In some ways I wish we had never met. At least then I would have no idea of  
what I'm missing. Better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at  
all...how about loving but not being able to act on it?  
  
If SD-6 is ever taken down, in 10 years for all I we know, how can I be sure he'll  
still be there, waiting for me? Was he ever there?  
  
I need him. I need him next to me, his scent mixing with my own, when I wake up  
in the morning. I need his boxers to lounge around in and his hair all over the  
sink after he shaves.   
  
I can't deny my feelings anymore. I love Vaughn. I don't know how to tell him, or  
even if I should. I just wish I knew if he felt the same way... 


End file.
